No Words

I'm just going to go ahead and have my rant right now. I'm sick of having all this crap rolling around my head, so I'm gonna put it out there, make peace with it, and move the hell on. I'm warning you now, I'm sure this is going to be a very long post. You have been warned.

I'm not quite sure where to start. I guess I'll just start by saying that I have given up on the whole finding a relationship because it's turned out to be the biggest waste of time in my life. Like I really have hard time believing in the whole idea of love. I'm pretty sure that people can't feel the way that they think they do. I think people then get bored and screw it up. I really doubt that people can have such strong feelings about each other as to want to stay together forever. I'm pretty sure that's a bunch of grade A bull. It just can't happen. People fool themselves into thinking that they feel strongly about a person. Its a sad waste of emotion. I mean...yeah. I don't even know. I just can't grasp that idea anymore. I did at one time, but I just don't anymore.

And I fess up right now that this is not 100% other people's faults. I have made a few choice decisions and have lead myself down this path. I don't think I've ever denied that, though. But let's be honest, we all make mistakes in our life...I just happen to make an obscenly large number of them.

Another thing that I realized is that people don't know how to tell the truth anymore. I mean yeah it's hard, but if you claim yourself to be an adult you better damn well learn how to act like one. I mean seriously. I know so people who lie to my face everyday. The sad thing is I know they're lying. I know their truths because I'm a smart person and its not that hard to figure out. I just wish people wouldn't try to be so damn sneaky....especially when they're all failing miserably.

I guess I shouldn't say much. I'm all alone with my ability to read through people's lies. I don't have anything else. Whatever. I'm doing what I want. I have to the balls to be honest too. I guess I have to choose between being a skeezy liar with a lot of friends or being me and staying the way I am, I'd damn sure stay where I'm at. At least I know where I'm going and I don't have anyone holding me back.

One last breathe of fresh knowledge; I am so excited for the new school year to start. Its gonna be a fresh start...a really fresh start. I think its a matter of time before things start going well for me. Until then I'll do what I do best and deal.