It's Time

It's time to be over all this. It makes me sad, becuase sometimes I think I'm actually getting somewhere and then, I get lied to. I need to stop and regroup. What am I talking about? Dating. It's not something I'm good at and I never quite win, or come close for that matter. It's just been a long road of mistake after mistake, and I need to be done.

I"m just afraid of being done. I know that down the line I actually do want to be with someone, but I'm convinced that there's not really anyone out there for me. I'm not quite like other girls in many ways, and I'm not what most guys want, I guess. And I suppose that's fine because I surely don't want to change who I am just for someone else. The whole point is finding someone who loves you for exaclty what you are. And that's great that most people find that, but unfortunately I'm not one of them.

I guess I just hoped I'd find that person who gets me. I mean all my friends seem to get me, but guys...? They look at me weird when I tell a joke or have a funny story to tell. Not to mention I don't always wear dressy clothes and do my hair. Not that I think that would make a difference. I like to be comfortable...so what?

So I guess this is me conceding finally. I guess if I conceded earlier I wouldn't be in the place I'm in. People that say that each mistake is a learning process, screw you. The only thing I've learned is there's me myself and I. I guess maybe that was the lesson...maybe I'm supposed to figure out that I will be alone forever. Point taken.